


Winter, Give Way To Spring

by IrisClou



Series: Quiet Desperation [3]
Category: Rockman | Mega Man Classic
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-03-14
Updated: 2017-03-14
Packaged: 2018-10-04 20:21:28
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,081
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10288691
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/IrisClou/pseuds/IrisClou
Summary: Shadowman is sent out on babysitting duty, and reminisces on watching Bass grow up, only to find an old friend where he least expected it.Continued canon of "Quiet Desperation"





	

**Author's Note:**

> this was...kinda inspired on a whim by Xartchan's Protoshadow art on tumblr!

[[Love Is Here | Tracey Chattaway]](http://t.umblr.com/redirect?z=https%3A%2F%2Fm.youtube.com%2Fwatch%3Fv%3DNyxKftJszJA&t=NmQ1YWE5ZWM3MzRmNGU4NzI0NGZhNmEwMzcyYTk5Zjk5M2VkYzFiZiwwajZrUHg1cQ%3D%3D&b=t%3Ag3FmnT234HOeU6T7QF5mRg&p=http%3A%2F%2Fgendercute-flareon.tumblr.com%2Fpost%2F158380325417%2Fwinter-give-way-to-spring&m=1)

“C'mon, bro!” Elecman pleaded beside Quickman, “Do it because–”

“Every time you call me ‘bro,’ I think of all the human cultures that put a restriction on the number of children families can have.” Shadowman cleared his throat and rolled his eyes, “Wily’s never heard of this, I’m sure.”

“Shadow. Look. If you’re not going to do it because you think Bass is completely capable of handling himself,” Quick side eyed the nervous wreck that was Elec, “which he is,”

“Mm?”

“Then do it for this poor bastard. Do it for him, so I don’t have to deal with him cryin’ about how 'poor baby Bass is gonna starve to death’ when 'poor baby Bass’ is a robot that doesn’t even eat.” Quick couldn’t hold back a smile while he shook his head.  
As much as Elec got on his nerves by being a walking anxiety attack, he still adored him.

Elecman huffed, “Don’t be rude! Sometimes I think _I’m_ the only one who cares about our little brother.”

“Alright! Alright.” Rare, for Shadow to raise his usually hushed voice, but he was already tired of having to talk to begin with. “I’ll go…check on him.”

“Ah! I _knew_ you’d say yes!” Elecman’s eyes shimmered with tears. Quick made a muffled groan and rubbed his temple.

“Great, okay, Elec. I’m…leaving now so…” Shadow inched away cautiously. Everyone knew that Elec was one of the more… _emotional_ brothers, but he seemed even more so now that Bass was gone. Well, gone _again_.

Wily did have him return for the winter for some…father-son bonding.

Now that it was nearly spring, Bass had…wandered off once more, much to the dismay of Elecman, who had nigh coddled him throughout his stay.

Shadow gave his brothers one last nod before slinking off into the myriad of dead winter shadows, making his swift way to the old barn his littlest brother stayed in.

The man figured Bass had decided to fly the coop and should be left to do as he wished. He wasn’t sure how the boy would take his older brother…well, _spying_ on him, now that he was more independent…

Shadow cursed himself for letting his old memories get the best of him as he raced along the withered firs, his speed and agility proving useful as the branches cracked in the winter strain.

He didn’t want to leave tracks in the new spring snow.

It’d been a very long time since he’d seen Bass in more than passing, or even talked to him for that matter. In truth, Shadow kinda missed the little runt.

He narrowed his eyes, the barn only a few miles ahead. The forest around him was sharp, black, a blue of dark in the cloudless night. The moon was full, and shone with a glaring light. Shadow forced himself not to think of a good haiku, knowing he’d forget it in a few minutes anyway.

Then again, there was beauty in such things, things that faded with time, things that never stayed for more than a few heartbeats, like the fluttering of startled birds, or a leaves flowing down a stream. Never in one spot for more than a moment.

Maybe he’d sit on the roof and think for a little while before going to check on Bass. This night was much too beautiful to waste with his head poked through some rafters watching his kid brother sleep.

But the closer he got to his destination, the more old memories his “kid brother” clouded his once clear mind.

…

“Now, Shadowman. You are my most lethal of robot masters. Your speed, stealth, and accuracy are nigh unmatched by your brothers! You will have the honor of being one of those teaching Bass the art of fighting!”

“The honor?”

“Yes, of course! He is my prodigy. One day he will exceed all my expectations, for he was designed to grow and learn at an astonishing rate.”

“Because you gave him a personality. What if he rejects what I teach him?”

“I did not give him a–he’s just programmed a little differently. He’ll do as you say because you’re his elder brother.”

“Heh, and what makes you say that? No useful child respects their elders right off the bat.”

“Perhaps! So you may have to beat it into his head a bit, just…just do it!”

“Fine. But don’t expect a miracle. The way of the ninja is not for everyone. He may wind up being as graceful as Gutsman.”

…

Shadow felt himself smirk. How Wily thought Bass was the perfect killing machine, when each and every brother knew in their heart he was actually the closest thing to a soul they would ever get. And they treated him that way.

And he wondered, and he wondered. If it was true. That something made with all the love in one’s heart, all the passion they possessed, that their creation would be given a soul.

Wily was certainly passionate about his Robot Masters, clearly obvious in how they all were unique in personality, let alone ability. But Bass…Bass was so much more. He _must_ have a soul.

And that’s why there was an unspoken pact amongst the brothers, to protect him at all costs. Jealousy had no meaning when the future of robot kind was in the hands of your baby brother.

Shadow kept his breathing in sync with each rushing step he took. The look on the boy’s face–he’d never forget. Such innocence, such determination to please, to be the best–

…

“Hey, Shadow, can I see those razor blades you have?”

“They’re called shuriken. They are not toys.”

“Yeah, so, can I see them?”

“You will not use these until you have mastered the kunai.”

“But those are just dumb little knives, they’re too easy.”

“Then we’ll use more challenging targets, if you feel they are too _easy_ for you to control.”

“No, I wanna use something different! You have all these cool weapons and tools and–”

“And they are all useless, Bass.”

The look on his face, stunned, taken aback. Weapons? Useless? How could that possibly be?

“Weaponry, tools, tricks, illusions…all of it is useless unless you are precise, and calm. You must always be two steps ahead of your opponent. You will not get far charging into battle like a wild boar.”

“But–”

“Pick up your kunai again. This time, I want you to try and hit _me_ , and not the skeets.”

How the boy froze, suddenly afraid to cause injury, after talking endlessly about how he was going to be the strongest, most violent, most brutal–

“Or is that too much? You must be willing to do anything if you are to learn my ways, Bass. Even hurt me.”

“I’ll…do the skeets for now. I’d probably hit you too hard and you’d cry, y'know.”

He had smiled at that. The one flaw, one imperfection in Wily’s perfect, flawless masterpiece. The heart of a child.

Sure,  he had seen children stomp on bugs before just to see what would happen, sure, he’d seen them pull dog tails and scare cats for fun…but there was something so unique in the psyche of a child, something so inextricable, he knew that no amount of mediation would enlighten him to the depth…the depths they could truly love.

Fathomless.

Love was the defining flaw in Wily’s prodigy.

…

There it was. The barn.

Shadow inhaled the whispers of spring in the crisp winter night, stealing silently through the snow and up a tall sakura tree that shaded the roof.

He landed stealthily on the shingles, inching his way to the warm orange light that radiated from inside the loft door on the roof.

Shadow opened his mouth in a wordless gasp as he peered in. Who was that? Laughing, laughing beside his littlest brother–

A pang struck him, the same way the sakura petals were in striking contrast to the black sky, white snow.

…

“Hey, Shadow?”

“Mm.”

“Why are you so quiet all the time? Gutsman and Quickman are loud and like to talk but–”

“There are times for words, and times for silence, Bass.”

“Why? Why not just talk all the time?”

A smile, genuine, hadn’t felt that in a while.

“Because you’ll become a fool if you talk and never think.”

“You callin’ me dumb?”

“If you keep speaking in that manner, yes.”

A steamy pout.

“Bass. Listen closely to me.”

Eyes, once dark, light up. He knows there is something special when the quiet one has something to say.

“I don’t want you to be afraid to think. Wily may be a genius on robotic engineering, but he will never understand what you are capable of, as your own entity.”

“You must never believe that thinking is a weakness, that you should always fight, and on instinct alone. It will kill you slowly, then all at once.”

Children have no concept of death, only pain, but he could see it in the boy’s eyes. He knew, knew something.

“Sometimes, you must be still. You must breathe in everything around you, let it come and go. You must focus and understand that you are not alone in this world, and you can never live alone in this world. _That_ will also kill you slowly.”

Bass, his face turns sour again.

“Lotta dying slowly.”

“Yes.”

“You just saying I gotta be all poetic and meditate-y and weird like you?”

Shadow laughed.

“No. But you must be quiet sometimes. And you must let your heart speak louder than the angry things in your head. You were given something we were not, and we do not want you to lose sight of it. The world around you is intricate, complicated, infinite and unmeasurable. But it is simple when you quiet yourself. It will make you more alive than you have ever been if you stop thinking about yourself all the time.”

And he was. And he was quiet, in that moment, and Shadow could see it. Could feel it.

…another memory, another held breath.

“Hey, Shadow. Gotta minute?”

“Perhaps.”

“Why are you up in that old sakura tree?”

“I like it here.” He watched as Bass, true to his nature, clumsily scrambled up the tree to sit next to his older brother.

He graciously made room, and laid back, arms up, crossed behind his head against the trunk.

“Why?”

Shadow smiled. A little bird, crying to its mother.

_“Why, why, why? Why do the crickets chirp, Mama, why do the frogs croak, and the worms wriggle?”_

_“Because that is the way of the world, little one. Not all you ask will be answered, because not all questions have answers.”_

“There are things in life that cannot be questioned, simply because there is no answer to give.”

Bass frumped. “Do you always gotta be so weird? Can’t you ever talk normal?”

“I see Gutsman’s been giving you your speech lessons.” Shadow chuckled, closing his eyes to the soft spring breeze. Sometimes he’d think of the far off mountains he wished to see, the ones in the paintings he collected.

“You’re rude.”

A much more messy chuckle this time.

“A-huh. What do you need from me, Bass?”

Silence. A softness in it all.

“Nothing.”

Shadow relaxed further, a gentle smile on his lips.

“Nothing at all?”

“Nothing at all. I just wanted to…” a pause, “sit by you a bit.”

Shadow cracked open one eye.

“You’ve passed.”

A startled noise.

“What?!”

“You’ve passed your training. Now sit with me, Bass, and be still for a while. This is one of those moments where letting the earth speak is more important than your own voice.”

And they sat in a soft silence. In gentle stillness. In a timeless moment of brotherhood, young and old, watching the petals stream like feathers to the ground.

…and the memory was gone. A fleeting glance of a buck in the night, hoofprints on the edge of a snow covered soul, deep in the woods.

Shadow narrowed his eyes. That must be Blues. Dr. Light’s first creation.

He and Bass seemed to have hit it off pretty well over the months, and were laughing over something. Probably crude, knowing them. The ninja frowned. He had done background checks on Blues before, as the elusive and striking Protoman -- always liked the scarf -- but he never truly knew what _Blues_ was like.

With a internal sigh, he folded his arms and prepared for a good hour of just watching them laugh at each other. Elecman would probably want something terribly detailed, a written report, MLA format, double spaced–Shadow ran his tongue under his canines to hold back a laugh. What a wreck. But they all were fond of him, no matter his faults, they all knew he meant the best.

What all he could be doing now, sitting up in the sakura, its petals tinged with frost in the silver moonlight, painting perhaps. Maybe calligraphy. Anything but falling asleep to this. It was gorgeous out, and here he was, stuck…BABYSITTING again. A concealed groan.

He paused, mid breath. Blues had looked up. Right at him.

Had he known?! A dread stole through Shadows chest. Did he actually see him? Black against black, shadow on shadow–

“Hey, Bass, wait here a sec, I thought I heard something outside. Like a fox or somethin.”

“Foxes are so cute, I wanna see it!” Bass piped up brattily. He had been having a good time talking with Blues, but now the boy seemed…disturbed by something.

“You’ll scare it away if you yell, dumbass. Stay here. I’ll bring it in if its a baby and you can play with it.” Blues joked, and slipped out the barn door.

As he did, Shadow slipped in through the loft. No way was he going to deal with Protoman. Not in his job description.

“Shadow?!” Bass’s eyes lit up, and his round cheeks bunched in a wide grin at the sight of one of his favorite brothers.

“Shh!” He hissed back. “I just…came to check on you. Elecman’s a nervous wreck when you’re away, and–”

“HA! GOTCHA!” Blues cried triumphantly, having stepped out only to step right back in.

Shadow froze, mid sentence, and puffed up, fingers tensing over his shurikan. He didn’t want to fight, at all. He just wanted to–

“YOU CAME HERE TO STEAL BASS AND MADAME FROM ME!” Blues was trying his damndest not to laugh at how spooked Shadowman looked.

“I didn’t come here to steal any–” He made a less than delicate noise, “Who’s Madame?!”

If…there was a girl involved, he KNEW Elecman would lose his mind. He rushed a silent prayer before Blues pointed sharply at a fat little jersey cow that munched hay lazily in one of the stalls.

“That’s my WIFE, and I’m not gonna let you take her from me.”

“I thought she was your girlfri–” Bass began, but was cut off.

“Yeah, well, Kid, when you’re in love, things tend to escalate quickly.” Blues grinned.

“Look. I’m…not gonna take your cow, or wife, or whatever it is. I’m leaving now, actually.” Shadow felt his feet inch away for him, not wanting to be around this lunatic any longer. Prototype was right, maybe he was–

“Nah, I think you’ll stay. But it’s past Bonzo’s bedtime, so wait for me on the roof while I tuck him in and I’ll be up in a minute.

An ugly, ugly scowl from Bass, and Shadow cracked a thin smile. So he still had his sense of humor intact.

–

[[Satori | Audiomachine]](http://t.umblr.com/redirect?z=https%3A%2F%2Fyoutu.be%2FEzt_FdQJiLU&t=ZDUzYjZjMTZhZmI4ZDZiMmNjYWM1ZjFjZDMxMjViYTBkOWFjNGIyZiwwajZrUHg1cQ%3D%3D&b=t%3Ag3FmnT234HOeU6T7QF5mRg&p=http%3A%2F%2Fgendercute-flareon.tumblr.com%2Fpost%2F158380325417%2Fwinter-give-way-to-spring&m=1)

\--

"Why are you _really_ here, Shadow?”

The man smiled. It’d been a long time, since they had a moment like this. Didn’t recognize his voice at first, but now–

The memories were simply too thick to sort out all at once.

“Elecman’s worried.”

“Of course he is. Light didn’t realize that he’d turn out that way, but the electrical–”

“–Currents make his emotion receptors fire too rapidly at times and he gets capricious, I know.” Shadow closed his eyes.

“He doin’ okay?”

“He’s fine.”

Soft silence.

“You recognize me, I see.”

“Mm.” Something stirred lightly.

“Been a while, thought you may have forgotten. We were kids back then, weren’t we?” Blues laughed under his breath. “Didn’t think you’d give up so easily.”

“I _didn’t_.” Shadow gave him an incredulous look, “I fought a fair fight with him.”

“Assassins don’t fight fair, don’t lie.”

A fir, sharp, and dark against the billowing sakura. Been so lost in the winter that had died many, many years ago. Never shed his sharp needles.

“I wasn’t about to assassinate a _child_ , Blues.”

The boy smiled. “I figured, and that’s why I pulled you out of that mess he left you in. Not that he meant to, he’s just a kid. But–” Blues leaned back, the rough shingles digging into his hands, “Always liked you, y'know.”

A heartbeat, louder than words.

“Didn’t think I’d spend precious time helping out my sworn enemy when I could’ve been keeping tabs on my precious baby brother.” Blues chuckled lightly, smirking up at the moon, his shades almost silver in the light.

“I was never your sworn enemy, _and_ ,” Shadow chuffed, “I could say the same myself. Though…” He shook his head. “Can’t say I’d rather babysit that runt over being hauled blindly through the dirt and fixed up in some old warehouse you decided to throw me in.” He gave Blues a sly look. “What on earth possessed you? Sworn enemy my blade, you’re a softie, aren’t you?”

The boy shook his head and looked down at his bare feet dangling over the gutters.

“Nah. Every life is important. Especially robot life. I wasn’t gonna let someone as special–” He choked on the word, then quickly recovered, “ _skilled_ , I meant, _skilled_ rust away in the wake of my baby bro.”

“Mhm.” Shadow smiled to himself knowingly. They had shared many conversations back then. But to keep his identity safe, Blues had wrapped a blindfold around Shadowman’s eyes. If word got out he had been secretly repairing all of Wily’s robot masters–well, who knows what would have happened. But it wouldn’t have been good.

It had been a kindness, strange and determined, that gave an odd stirring to Shadow’s heart. He had been willing to accept his defeat, even his own death.

But Blues had not.

“The blindfold was a tad kinky, though.” Shadow teased, watching out of the corner of his eye as Blues let out a groan and flung himself back against the shingles, hands to his face.

“I could’ve just taken your eyes out, but I thought I’d be nice. And look what that got me. An asshole.”

Shadow laughed, hushed, but true and bright in the shining night.

“And I thank you for that. I never thought I’d enjoy the company of another robot. My brothers are a little overzealous.”

“I know you’re talking about Snakeman.”

“Whatever fever dream possessed Wily to create a robot that shoots snakes? Beyond me.” He chuckled, then shrugged. “He wants to be a herpetologist, y'know.”

“Good for him. I always wonder how you bastards are doing nowadays.” Blues sighed, and ran a hand through his hair.

“We’re managing. The Wily estate is pretty big, so…we kinda spread out and do our own thing for the most part. I think the old man’s finally given up.”

“Puppy love’s pretty powerful, isn’t it?”

“Heh, I guess…I guess it can be.”

“Good thing I don’t believe in that shit.”

Shadow looked up, and frowned slightly. He glanced over at Blues.

“What do you mean?”

“This whole 'love’ business. I mean, I get fraternal stuff, that’s a no brainer. It’s an occupational hazard. Comes with the job. But romantic shit? Nah.” He laughed, “It’s imaginary if you ask me. A conspiracy.” He whistled a few notes from the X-Files theme for dramatic effect, causing Shadow to let out a hissing laugh.

“You can’t be serious.”

“Totally am, bro.”

“Hm.” Shadow was quiet for a moment.

“I figure I’ve gotten this far in life without it, and I’m not half bad.” He cleared his throat nonchalantly. “What about you, Mr. Everything-is-a-Haiku-Waiting-to-be-Written?”

Shadowman snorted.

“I’m unsure, Mr. I-Have-to-be-Cool-or-I’ll-Actually-Die,” He teased back.

“We gotta find better nicknames for each other.” Blues sneered.

“Perhaps.”

“Nothing cutesy and Japanese, or I’ll punch you, got it? If you call me your cherry blossom or some gay shit like that–” Blues scuffed his heel into the shingles for emphasis. Shadow threw his head back with ugly laughter.

“I’d let myself rust before calling you that.” He let his laughter fade into a sigh. “They are beautiful though, aren’t they?” Shadow watched the breeze rustle the blossoms of the sakura tree that brushed the roof.

“Sure are.” Blues pulled himself up into a sitting position, and pulled down his shades to get a better look.

Silence.

“You really unsure?” A whisper.

A smile.

“I’m unsure about being unsure, if that helps any.”

“It doesn’t.”

A mirrored smile. The splash of a koi tail in a pond, sending ripples through the waves of heartbeats.

“But–”

“Hm?”

“Sitting around won’t make us any surer.”

“No, I suppose you’re right.”

Soft in the silence.

“I want to tell you to go home, but I also don’t want you to leave. It’s weird, Shadow.”

“It’s because you don’t think you’ll see me again.”

“Yeah.”

“No matter how many times the snow falls on the mountain, the flowers return every spring. I won’t leave the only friend I have behind.”

Blues turned away, hiding the cherry blush in his cheeks.

“You’re ridiculous.”

“You have a cow for a wife.” Shadow said matter-of-factly, leaning forward to push himself to his feet.

“Yeah, okay, but–” Blues noticed as Shadow readied himself to leave– “Wait!” A worried, childish noise in his throat, “Will, will you actually come back?”

“You’re scared it won’t feel the same.”

“…yeah.”

“Thinking is a powerful tool, but sometimes you have to let the world think for you.” Shadow stood up, facing the sakura. “You’ll find me when you need me.”

“But, but I didn’t really think, I–” Blues spluttered, scrambling to his feet, a stirring in his chest, uncomfortable, anxious–

“Needed me? Even the winter needs the spring, even if it is hard to say goodbye to the cold once you’ve gotten used to it.”

“Sometimes I’d rather you stick to your 'I’m a silent ninja’ mantra rather than all this poetic shit.” Blues crossed his arms.

“You pride yourself in your own strange poetry, so don’t start pointing fingers.” Shadow smiled warmly. “Things must go as nature intends. We’ll meet if–”

“We’ll meet again if I say we will! Nature can deal with it.” Blues retorted hotly.

“Now I see Bass rubbed off on you.” Shadow chuffed, “Be patient. Something like this will not fade like the seasons. Next time, there may be a certainty we can find together.” He poised himself to leap, “Learn to let spring take its course. Don’t be like the ice that clings to the sakura, Blues.”

“You’re a hundred times worse than me, you bastard!” Blues felt his chest swell, grinning from ear to ear, “You better come back after all that bullshit!”

Shadow nodded.

It was a strong stirring in his chest as he vanished into the night. There was a winter in both their hearts, that clung to a past yet to be repeated. Perhaps he would go back, to the old sakura down the path, and dwell. Dwell in ink, and hazy mists of a spring to be drawn onto scrolls of the soul.

He smiled. It was messy when the ink was still wet. With time, it would dry, and the true, unchangeable beauty would soak into the paper.

By the time he reached home, he had already forgotten about Elecman’s request. Bass was more than fine. He was growing up, and no amount of babysitting in the shadows would change that.

Blues on the other hand–

Some things still had a few loose ends, he supposed. Another meeting would tie them nicely, perhaps fingers knotted, hearts laced–

Shadow paused. Now _he_ was getting carried away in the stream of his thoughts, like the petals. He’d sit and rest in the sakura tree and listen to the world until he knew what was best.

The rest could wait. Spring was here sooner than he expected.


End file.
